Cinematical

If you were checking out the casting bites back in August, you might recall that Meryl Streep was looking to sign on to a new romantic comedy penned by Father of the Bride and Irreconcilable Differences scribe Nancy Meyers (which Meyers will also direct). The film was said to focus on a love triangle, and now Variety reports that the beaus fighting for her affection will be: Alec Baldwin and the just-signed Steve Martin.

But still, we know nothing about the plot other than the fact that both will play rivals fighting for Streep's affections, and that this mysterious project will leap into production during the month of romance -- February.

At the very least, it looks like this could bite on the question: Which do ladies prefer -- the sexy guy or the funny man? Baldwin comes from a pack of bros so sexy that his last name became a term for hotness in Clueless. As for Martin, well, he might be a wild and crazy guy, but he's also a bit of a goof.

If you had your choice, who would you pick?

If you want to broaden the appeal of a romantic comedy, it helps to grab an array of actresses -- like say, a girl who is not only known as a modern Nancy Drew, but also a hot-tempered Hero, a woman who starred in one of the hot rom-coms of 2008 (Sex and the City), and a girl who can smack down baddies in an alternate time of superheroes and impending doom.

The Hollywood Reporter posts that Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis, and Malin Akerman have signed on for a new film called Couples Retreat. Now Akerman, at least, has had some iffy luck with this genre, so here's what ups the ante -- it's written by Iron Man Jon Favreau, and will be directed by collaborator Peter Billingsley (better known as the Christmas Story kid). So, it's not your everyday comedy. In fact, "rom" has been completely left off the genre placement of this project so far, but it is a comedy about romance. (Is there a difference?!)

The story involves four couples working on their relationships at a tropical island resort, so who are the men in romantic peril? Jason Bateman gets to be married to Bell, Favreau is also co-starring as Davis' husband, and Vince Vaughn gets to canoodle Malin. As for the fourth, Faizon Love is attached, but there's no word on his leading lady.

Muppet fever is in the air these days. Jason Segel got The Jim Henson Co. to help him whip up those awesome puppets for Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That led to the funny man getting the honor of making a new Muppet movie. And now we're getting more Hensonesque film awesomeness. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the company is going to the adult world of film noir.

Oh yes -- they've whipped up a murder mystery called The Happytime Murders (written by Todd Berger from a story created with Dee Austin Robertson), and Brian Henson will direct it. In this tale of adult puppet goodness, there's an alternate world where puppets and humans co-exist -- but not exactly peacefully -- the puppets are considered second-class citizens. The murder comes in when "the puppet cast of an '80s children's TV show called 'The Happytime Gang' begins to get murdered one by one, [and] a disgraced puppet LAPD detective turned private eye -- with a drinking problem, no less -- takes on the case."

Awesome. I can only hope there some Nick and Nora noir swank to this whole deal, but I do wonder: HOW adult will they get? The piece references Avenue Q, which is a big ol' raunch fest, but that might be too racy? However adult it gets, this sounds good. Do you agree?

It's hard not to admire George Clooney. The man has worked his way up the ranks, became a superstar, and still manages to be loved and admired. But me, I'm not a fan because of his recent stints in films like the Ocean series, nor for his Batman, nor his sexy stint on ER. I'm a die-hard fan of the old Clooney days, where he sported a mullet and popped up in television shows like The Facts of Life and awesome flicks like Return of the Killer Tomatoes.

Seeing the above pictures, which are peeks of Clooney while shooting his new movie Men Who Stare at Goats (courtesy of Just Jared and The Bad and the Ugly), I couldn't help but think back to how the heartthrob has changed over the years, morphing from awkward kid to handsome leading man. So, I'm going to go backwards.

Consider the above number one, and then head through the jump to watch him become a sexy, bespeckled youngin' in six steps.

The alliteration and the memory was just too much to pass up this week!

Friday will bring the release of Max Payne, starring none other than Mark Wahlberg (with a little help from Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Ludacris...). Now it would be easy and sort of obvious to just revel in some "Good Vibrations" or Wahlberg's tight-whitey clad arse, both of which were extremely prevalent at the start of Marky Mark's career. Instead, here's his first film role from 1994 -- Wahlberg playing Pvt. Tommy Lee Haywood in Renaissance Man.

In the clips above, Haywood gets into a fight with Pvt. Jamaal Montgomery -- otherwise known as Kadeem Hardison, or Dwayne Wayne. Then they get to delight in the Shakespearean world of Hamlet under the tutelage of Danny DeVito, and then, oh yes, Mr. Wahlberg sings a little bit of "Achey Breaky Heart."

It never ceases to amaze me how far that man has come. It didn't take him long either -- after this film came Basketball Diaries, then there was only Fear and Traveller before he became Dirk Diggler.

I've been a fan of Joss Whedon ever since I sat down in the sun, flabbergasted at the thought of a Buffy television show, to catch a re-airing of "Welcome to the Hellmouth." Once I was hooked in permanently, it became clear that the man loved not only the idea of defying stereotypes and praising strong women, but honoring his cast members. When Firefly fell, a few found themselves in the Buffy and Angelverse. But one who didn't, Summer Glau, had already popped up as a ballerina on Angel (look above!). But it looks like that wasn't enough for Joss, because now Glau is getting a short film, Whedon-style.

MTV reports that Joss has written a short film/ballet called The Serving Girl for the current Terminator, full not only of Whedon plot, but more Whedon music. This entire project is completely at the whim of scheduling, but the pair have teamed up with a choreographer, so that's promising for the short. Also promising -- the fact that Terminator might get canceled and leave Glau open to dance her toes off for the short.

What say you? Should Glau stay on TV kicking butt, or head to the short film world to dance once again?

Greetings and salutations! I bring the following news to you with an air of excitement, and a huge warning of caution:

Christian Slater, otherwise known as the sexy, seductive, and utterly unstable Jason Dean, is eager to go back to the Heathers fold. While talking up his new NBC show My Own Worst Enemy with AOL TV, Slater spoke about returning to Sherwood, Ohio and said:

"Yeah, sometimes I see Winona and she's like, 'Are you ready to do Heathers 2?' And I'm like, 'Sure!' I would do it in a heartbeat. I would totally love to do that character again -- J.D. We'd have to have a scene in there where's he's watching The Shining or something, you know? We'd have to see that he's collected all of Nicholson's movies. Just to really make sense of it all. [Laughs] That would be like a dream come true for me. So we'll see -- if they want to put something together, I'd be thrilled."

Why the caution? Well, Winona has been dying to do it for years (I remember reading rumors about it all the way back in the 90s), and there was all that talk about the sequel being a reality two years ago. We saw how far that got. But maybe some things have changed -- the way Slater is talking about this, you'd think he's itching for more than just an "Obi-Wan-type appearance."

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
The big release this week is, undoubtedly, the latest adventures of Indiana Jones. There are so many fan goodies involved with this release, that you can check out our previous two posts for specifics -- one for the disc extras and one for the collectible extras. As for the film itself -- it's gotten a lot of banter about its plusses and minuses, but in the end, it's still 77% fresh. So basically, this is a Buy It if you're an Indy fan, and a Rent It, if you're not sure.

War, Inc.
This is the feature that plagues me. It has John Cusack. It was co-written by the wildly insane, talented, and fun Mark Leyner. Nevertheless, War, Inc. failed to impress. You know you've got to worry when a review starts with: "What do you say when a film is so bad that you actually feel physical pain for everyone involved?" So, I say with a heavy heart: Skip It.

Y.P.F -- aka -- Young People F**king
This is merely a funny and mostly honest look at sex, but with a title that flings out the F-bomb, it's gotten a whole slew of drama ranging from political movements to Ebert responses. But when it comes down to it, the Canadian comedy is funny, but it's not shockingly racy and has barely any nudity. You'll see more jaw-dropping sex and skin on True Blood. Buy It!

From one sexy role to another: Carla Gugino will soon (hopefully) be on the big screen as Sally Jupiter, hero and pin-up girl of Watchmen, and now she's taking on another seductive role. Variety reports the gal will be the last point in the romantic love triangle called Every Day, which got cooking earlier this month. Liev Schreiber plays a guy who writes for a "semi-pornographic TV show" (that wasn't in the earlier news release!) that gets propositioned by his colleague (Gugino). But the man already has wife Helen Hunt at home, and this "strains his marriage to the breaking point." Could you resist if Gugino was tempting you?

Meanwhile, we've got Rachael Harris, who stood her own against mockumentary heavyweights in For Your Consideration (she played Mary Pat Hooligan, the actress who played the lesbian coming out to her family in Home for Purim). Variety reports that she's going to nurse Todd Phillips' The Hangover with the likes of Bradley Cooper, Heather Graham, and more. Graham is already playing a Vegas local, so maybe Harris will play the bride who might get left at the altar. But the actress isn't all laughs -- one of her upcoming films is The Soloist.

Lastly, we've got a cute, Korean hip-hop dancer on the way -- Som Dam-bi has signed onto Hype Nation. But this isn't just a tale of dancing: "An American dance crew goes head to head with a crew from South Korea," one that mixes hip-hop moves with at least one gun-toter. Oooh, it's like You've Been Served International!

With J.C.V.D. charming audiences everywhere and making the unlucky of us foam at the mouth to see it, the big question has become: Would this be the start of a great career twist, or a charming, but fleeting, aberration for Jean Claude Van Damme? Rather than taking it step by step, the dude has jumped head first into the deep end -- next up will be Van Damme's labor of love, Full Love, which he wrote, produced, directed, and stars in. It's supposed to be a personal story, but is currently all hush-hush. But now we've at least got a peek inside, courtesy of Twitch. They've posted five images from the film, including the thumbnail to the right. It doesn't show much, but one thing that's definitely not there -- JCVD splits.

Turning from possible success to definite success -- CNN reports that Tim Robbins has nabbed himself a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. In the ceremony last week, the actor said: "I used to take the bus from here to Burbank to go to work. When the bus was late, I would walk up and down and throw my cigarettes down. Now I have the honor of having this done to my star."

Meanwhile, if you've dug the tunes coming out of Repo! The Genetic Opera, Horror-Movies.ca reports that the film's soundtrack will be up for free for one day only, today the 13th, on the flick's official website. Go now!

And one last nibblet: Variety reports that Mark Waters, director of films like The House of Yes, Mean Girls, and The Spiderwick Chronicles, is heading to TV to helm the pilot Eva Adams. Adapted from the Argentinian telenova Lalola, the series will follow a womanizer who gets turned into a woman and must endure what he used to dole out.